The One Super Power I Posess

When Maverick and I started planning our trip one of the first things that sort of bummed me out was that we’d have to fly Virgin America instead of my beloved Jet Blue. I love Jet Blue for a few reasons; awesome snacks, tv while you fly, they have flown me many times many places and never once killed me even that time we flew through a lightning storm from Chicago to Boston and the turbulence made my knuckles permanently white forever.

But one of the things I love most about Jet Blue is that each passenger gets to check their first bag for free. FOR FREE. Which is awesome. The fact that you have to pay to check a bag makes me irate. The plane tickets are already usually very expensive, they can’t just check the damn bag? Le sigh.

Anyway, Virgin American seems great please oh please don’t crash please oh please  but when I found out that there was a 25 dollar fee for bags checked I came up with the whacky plan that Maverick and I would take one suitcase between us. Yeah. Two people’s clothes intended for a 7 day trip with variable temperatures and occasions. I dropped the suitcase off at Mav’s last week so he could pack his things. Yesterday morning as we chatted he mentioned that he didn’t think we could fit both of our things in the suitcase judging by what he had packed already. 

I thought of all the different amounts of crap I have packed into that sad black suitcase over the years and though I am normally not one to stick to something that might ultimately be problematic, the thought of us paying 50 dollars each way to check bags broke my Jew Bone sent me into a frenzy.

I immediately hopped to action and enacted my plan B; which was to see just how much of my clothes I intended to bring with me would fit into my carry-on suitcase. I figured if I could fit everything in then surely between the two suitcases we could split the difference.

I am proud to say that while my strengths may not reside in many areas, there are few packing challenges I am not equipped to handle.

Included here are three skirts, roughly 8 t shirts, one pair of jeans, one pair of shorts, four dresses, four tank tops, two cardigans, yoga pants, plenty of underwear and socks, a bath towel, hand towel and washcloth, two bathing suits, one bra, four belts and two pairs of flats. One trick I've found to getting everything in the suitcase is wearing whatever bulky items you might want to take with you on the plane a la body suitcase. Which is why I'll travel in my other pair of jeans, light sweatshirt, and sneakers.

Included here are three skirts, roughly 6 t shirts, two “Dressy” tops, one pair of jeans, one pair of shorts, five dresses, four tank tops, two cardigans, yoga pants, plenty of underwear and socks, a bath towel, hand towel and washcloth, two bathing suits, one bra, four belts and two pairs of flats. One trick I’ve found to getting everything in the suitcase is wearing whatever bulky items you might want to take with you on the plane a la “body suitcase.” Which is why I’ll travel in my other pair of jeans, light sweatshirt, and sneakers.

962000_4866227693702_819939034_nWHABAM. Actually full disclosure I kept one pair of flats out, because they made they top of suitcase puff out a little bit. I’ll probably stash em’ in the checked bag. That baby is a perfect 50 linear inches, just right to fit into the overhead compartment.

On Being Deserving

So, on Saturday, Maverick and I are embarking on a weeklong vacation to California.

I am not really one to take “vacations.”

Sure, I’ve done some quick jaunts to DC and NYC to visit friends the last couple years, but the last time I went on a vacation to simply…relax and travel was in 2007.

I don’t want to alarm anyone…but that was 6 years ago.

I’m not entirely sure why I haven’t vacationed more. There’s the fact that my family doesn’t “do” family vacations. There’s the fact that the thought of doing something early-twentiesesque like “back packing through Europe” gives my over-cautious planning-addicted self, major case of hives. There’s the fact that I’m living pay check to pay check and probably by all accounts should not be taking a vacation anyway.

I can always think of a better way to spend (or not spend) the money. And in the back of my mind, I’m just not a person who feels like I deserve a vacation. Even though I do work pretty damn hard.

I’m not sure how we decided we’d go to California. I mean, I remember talking to Maverick about CA and him mentioning he’d always wanted to go and me being all dreamy like “oh we should go!” and then I did my normal day dreamy thing where I research plane ticket prices, ya know…just for fun.

And to my surprise I found some pretty good deals. Which I forwarded to the Mav, and I don’t even remember if I was serious or not. I don’t remember the conversation we had where we decided to start our trip in LA and then take a rental car up the coast to San Francisco. It all just sort of fell into place like magic and before we knew it we were buying plane tickets and booking hotels and making lists and printing maps.

And we’re going. For a full week!!

And I’m so, so, excited. But also a good amount freaked out. Because I do not travel well, I get mega anxiety flying on planes. I spend my evenings thinking of worst case scenarios like a totally healthy person.

Anyway, I admitted a bit of my vacation guilt to Maverick the other day, but explained that my grades for this past semester were coming back really, really, good and so any time he heard me say I didn’t deserve this vacation, he could remind me of my good work in school. I spent my day off on Tuesday printing out all our hotel info and buying little travel sized things and looking longingly at all the sundresses I plan to wear.

Then Wednesday rolled around. I woke from a deep sleep at 5:40am, drowning in my own mucus.

BECAUSE OF COURSE.

Of course I get another mother fucking sinus infection right before the first real vacation I’ve taken in mother fucking six years.

I lay in bed last night burning up with a fever and tossing and turning and throwing a giant, epic, tantrum.

“THIS IS WHY YOU NEVER SAY YOU DESERVE SOMETHING, SARAH.” I chastised myself, shivering and sniffling and on the verge of tears. I know, I know. Logically I am not that powerful that I can control the deep inner workings of the universe by things that I say. But when you constantly have this much bad luck its easy to fall into that slump, where somehow you must have killed puppies in another life.

I slept off and on from 10pm last night to 10 am this morning and even though I woke up still burning hot at 5 am, I am happy to say at the very least my fever has finally broken. I still have to blow my nose every 6 minutes and feel super un-sexy and mad and not at all vacation ready.

Sigh.

C’est la Vie.

Vacation all I ever wanted.

My Whole Existence is Flan

My personal favorite misheard song lyric is when I went years and years thinking that they were singing “HUSH HUSH, keep it down now, Richard Scarry” instead of “Hush Hush keep it down now, Voices Carry” in Til’ Tuesday’s 1985 hit, Voices Carry.

I dunno, it made sense at the time?

Richard, how many times must I ask you to use your indoor voice?

Richard, how many times must I ask you to use your indoor voice?

In other news, the music video for this song is hilariously awful

My Dad went decades thinking they were singing “HEY JESSAY” instead of “Hey Jealously” in the Gin Blossoms song. Neither really makes much sense.

 

This video of misheard 90′s lyrics really takes the cake, and makes me realize how many times I just totally made up what I thought the words were, despite having the little lyrics jacket that came with my actual hard copy cd.

 

 

 

 

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